Minivan Mom Superpowers: Seeing the Hidden

Minivan mom may seem ordinary, but she has superpowers.  Evil household items (like dust-cloths and cleaners) are have the ability to become invisible to teenagers.  They can't finish chores because some critical piece is "not there!".  ("There" being defined as "jumping off the shelf and attacking me!")

Minivan mom can swoop in, and find the misbehaving item.  In 30 seconds or less.  

I used to get frustrated.  Now I just Embrace the Power!

writing

I don't like writing.  I don't like *my* writing.
My writing won't get better, if I don't keep writing.
Therefore, I must keep writing.
But I don't wanna!
But I have to.
So, I won't do anything else, until I write something.  Lame, horrible, it doesn't matter.

Gah.  Being a grown up really is the pits.

The Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle of Food Shopping

• The more complete your shopping list, the more likely critical items are unavailable at the store.
• The larger the store inventory, the more likely the shopping list is incomplete.

Δ(list)Δ(inventory) ≥ # people to feed

My secret disguise works!

I think I always look like a geek, but apparently my secret disguise is working.

Scene:  The supermarket, Thursday at 1:30 pm
Cast:  Me, Random woman
Setting:  Cereal aisle, Kelloggs section

RW:  Oh my G-d, we are dressed exactly the same (black V-neck tee, khaki shorts, sandals, backpack used as purse, no makeup or jewelry, hair au natural) and we are looking at the same cereal!

Me:  Haha

This would have been an unremarkable encounter, except that Random Woman decided to follow up with various questions ("Do you have kids?", "How many?") to find other amazing similarities (Yes, We Both had Kids.  Yes, We Both Drive Minivans).  It got a little strange.  It wasn't as though we were the only ones dressed that way.

But, it's good to know that I blend in!  I wonder if RW would have been shocked by my true identity...

I've been a chemist too long....

I recently went to the Apple Store.  Since the iPad launched, the Apple Store is much busier.  In the past (pre iPad), you could walk in, find someone in a brightly colored T-shirt, ask your question/buy your product and be on your way.  Now, you have to find the "dude with the iPad" and put your name on a list.  Then you wait until someone in a brightly colored T-shirt (currently bright blue) finds you.  

This gives you ample time to play with the iPads (oh, you evil Apple marketing geniuses), but it's an inconvenience, especially if you want to complete your transaction in less than 15 minutes.

So, I needed to buy a computer, but I didn't want to wait for an available salesgeek.  Surely Apple has something for me.  Yes they do!  You can sign up for a personal shopping appointment.  I discovered this by dropping by the Apple Store and talking to the "dude with the iPad".  He gave me his card because it had the web address for personal shopping appointments.

OK--what does this have to do with being a chemist?

I took the card home and left it on my desk.  When I next looked at it, I was confused.  Under his name, instead of "dude with the iPad" it said "lead specialist".  I read this as the metal lead (chemical symbol Pb, known for its high density and presence in paint made before 1978).

Why, I thought, would Apple have a metal specialist.

Oh, of course, it's lead (leed) rather than lead (led) (the metal).  This is why I've been a chemist too long.

But this just lead (ha) to further confusion.  If someone is a specialist, aren't they unique?  Why would they need a leader?  And if they are not, why call them a specialist?  If they need a leader, wouldn't that be the special-est specialist?

Dude with the iPad is much more descriptive.

Someday, maybe I'll have an iPad of my own.  Until then, I have to hang out at the Apple Store.

Quote, without comment

"If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?"

Lately seen on a bumper sticker

More Parenting Advice from Star Trek

From Captain Janeway, USS Voyager, to Seven of Nine, petulant former Borg(==teenager):

"Around here we have a command structure and I'm the captain!".

Yes, I want my children to think for themselves and not blindly follow authority.  But....my patience for endlessly debating the mundane details of how/when chores are done, or why they can't do something, even if "everyone else's mom lets them" is limited.  By implementing a command structure, I can eliminate the debate (which is generally just a delaying tactic) and move on to Actually Getting Things Done.

So far, this works fairly well.  Since my children don't actually watch Star Trek(gasp!), I've had to do some basic explanation[1], assign ranks[2] and implement some fairly rigid training exercises[3].  I've also gotten some limited buy-in from the love of my life/first officer [4].

Also effective:  A curt "Dismissed" to end pointless debate for which "I'm the captain!" does not apply.

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[1] Basic explanation also includes important information, like never volunteer to beam down to a planet while wearing a red shirt, unless you are a recurring character.

[2] The older two outrank the youngest which made the older two much more enthusiastic about the plan.  The youngest hasn't fully bought into the program, but she isn't fully teen yet, either

[3] Consisting of repeating "I'm the captain!" to any complaints.   If that is unsuccessful, I remind them that "resistance is futile!".

[4] Who is unaware of the limited, um, romantic opportunities of the first officers.  Please don't tell!

Perhaps the only time you will see the Schrodinger equation in a music video

The Outdoors: Geek Woman's Kryptonite

I attempted to clean up the beds around the house but ran into some nasty plants that are not poison ivy, but do exude urushiol, causing the familiar and uncomfortable rash.

I forgot that the outdoors can be a dangerous place for Geek Woman--better for her to stay inside, by the computer!

On secret identities

Occasionally, in the course of conversation, I'll mention that I'm a geek.  Generally, this is to a geek-friendly non-geek (or slight geek).  I don't need to identify myself to other geeks (it's obvious) and I've learned (the hard way) to keep Geek Woman away from interactions with the geek-averse.  The typical response is, "oh, you're not a geek!'

I realize that these people are being kind but, it bugs me.  First, I've worked very hard to be proud of Geek Woman.  Second--c'mon people, how can you say I'm not a geek?

Reason 1:  I'm extroverted.  Geeks, IME, are an introverted lot (this is why research was not a viable career for me--I'm ill-suited to spending hours without conversing with other humans).

Reason 2:  I have passable social skills.  True (also something hard won for me).  I still struggle (especially with gracefully concluding social interactions), but I can get through a PTO meeting (generally) without behaving too inappropriately.  (Many geeks have passable or better social skills, but they tend to get lumped into the "you're not a geek" catagory, so the negative stereotype persists.)

Reason 3:  I'm funny.  !?!?  I just heard this the other day.  Yes, I like to think that I'm funny, but IME, most funny people are somewhere on the geeky spectrum.

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Minivan Mom, my secret identity is starting to take over Geek Woman.  Clearly, I need something to differentiate them.

I did it--I got glasses.  I now need reading glasses most of the time, but swapping them on and off was a pain.  I've always had a very slight distance correction but since it's not enough to affect driving, I've never bothered to fill it.

I got progressive lenses and I'm now attempting to wear glasses all the time.  It's working pretty well.  But the glasses do give me more of a geeky look.

Like so many other things in my life, I got it backward.  I put on my glasses to become Geek Woman and take them off to hide in my secret identity.

Unlike Clark Kent, who gained a forehead curl when he took off his glasses and became Superman, my hair stays exactly the same (curly all over) for either personna.   (The curly hair is a geek indicator, I fear.)

Building a Supportive Classroom Community: Three Things

[I find it hard to reflect on teaching when I'm not actually in the classroom.  When I'm actually in the classroom, I find it hard to write my reflections because I'm so busy *actually* teaching.  Teaching is time consuming, even when done mediocrely.]

When I teach HS, I want to try to actively build a classroom community.  Three things I need to think about:

1) Dealing with mixed abilities.  In my college experience, the students tend to group themselves according to ability.  So, the "good" students find each other and work together (which works well) and the weaker students do the same (not so good).  I've tried different ways of grouping students but they (the students) can be resistant and I've always been hesitant to push too hard at the college level (I feel that they come to college to figure these things out independently plus I don't see them on a daily basis which limits my effectiveness at social engineering)

2) Incorporating parents.  One major difference between HS and college is that college teachers are legally prevented from speaking with a parent (of students >18) unless the student has signed a waiver[1] (law is FERPA).  In HS, at least in the Affluent Suburbs where I hope to find gainful employment[2] many parents expect to be fully informed of classroom policies, assignments, etc.  While I could argue whether this is good/bad, it is a fact (I've been a HS parent for the past 6 years.)

3) Gaining student buy-in.  When I talk about building a supportive classroom community to college students, I sense a bit of eye-rolling.  I've been fortunate to (mostly) teach at pretty selective schools which means that, in addition to selecting for high grades/scores also effectively selects for good, compliant students who believe that humoring me will continue to earn them the high grades they expect.  I'm not sure how that will translate to the general HS population.

I'm writing this down now.  I'm sure, after I actual teach HS (will hopefully student teach in the fall) I will find this incredibly naive and, dare I say, dorky.

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[1]I will have a college freshman next year, so I'll get to experience this from the parent perspective

[2]I still have a relatively young child at home, so I'd like to limit my commute.

Geek Pride Day

Today is Geek Pride Day--it's on Facebook and Wikipedia so it must be true, right?

I first realized I was a geek sometime around 3rd grade. I didn't know I was a geek but I did know I was different and weird. I liked math and Star Trek which were both weird, especially for girls. I didn't know anyone else who (admitted) liked Star Trek (aside from my parents, who obviously Don't Count).

I spent most of the next two decades denying my geekiness. During that time, I also acquired a science BS but, I didn't embrace the lifestyle, kept quiet about my love of all things Trek and pretended that I understood human behavior. The last part got much easier because, even as I was denying my geekiness, I was surrounding myself with geekier and geekier people. Graduate school was just the logical next step on that path.

During grad school I finally realized that I couldn't deny my fundamental geekiness. I put on socks and sandals[1] and never looked back. Along the way I acquired two advanced degrees g, discovered usenet (I've met many friends on teh Internets, although we've migrated from usenet to Facebook) and immersed myself in academic science. I didn't really think about being geeky because everyone around me was. I finally understood human behavior--at least the behavior of the humans around me.

Then I had children. And they started public school. And everything changed. I had to become Minivan Mom (although the minivan didn't arrive until the child #3).

I spent the first part of my life denying my geekiness, the second part living geekiness. Since then I've been trying to reconcile the two parts.

Am I succeeding? Too soon to tell. I am pleased that D1 openly identifies as a geek and D2, while self-defining as "artistic" (which is just another word for geeky:-)) posts things like "May the mass times acceleration be with you" on my Facebook wall. D3 is too young to tell (it's fine if she's not a geek, but, if she is, I don't want her feel she has to deny it).

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[1] I've only worn socks/sandals infrequently because (like many geeks!) I have sensory issues and I don't like the way it feels.

Alone Time

Being without coursework (either taking or teaching) about 1.5 months has made my brain a little dull. I think I miss the adult interaction (even on a Bb discussion group). Last night, we had a social outing that involved other adults and I Could Not Shut Up.

Today I took the car to the dealer for service. Instead of having to wrangle rides, or arrange for late night drop offs, I spent the 1.5 hours walking around town. Part exercise, part window shopping.

Someday, I will go back to work full time. My brain will appreciate it. I think it will also miss the luxury of walking around during the day.

Things a Teacher Shouldn't Say

You are XX years old, you should be able to <insert soft skill>

It seems most people, pick up soft skills organization, planning, studying, without explicit instruction. By the time a student gets to college, she should be an independent learner. When are these skills learned? In HS? Before that?

What about the kid who doesn't acquire these skills organically? Whose responsibility is it to teach them? It seems that most people will fall back on "you are XX years old, you should be able to....". This would be nice, if it were true, but just having the conversation is a good indicator that it's not.

What about the kid who is so bright she doesn't need to be organized and/or study? Eventually she will need these skills and won't have had any opportunity for practice.

I've seen HS study skills classes, but they don't seem terribly effective. I don't think you can teach or learn study skills in a vacuum. But how can a content teacher also teach soft skills?

My naive ideas:

• learning journals--have everyone write about their learning and hope they start to make connections between effective techniques and success. Even the brightest can reflect on their process.
  
  
• rewrites--redo assignments to improve/correct them. I think this also gives an opportunity for differentiation--those who have mastered the material can extend it.

If a student has gotten to an advanced point in her studies without mastering the soft skills, berating her for her lack is pointless--a teacher must find a way to help her develop the skills while also learning the content.

Don't say, 'You're XX years old, you should be able to ."

Say, "You need to learn to and here is how I will help."

This looks like a job for Geek Woman!

Star Wars as viewed by the kids

Or, as not viewed by the kids as only one of them watched the whole thing. I was a little disappointed as I'd like to think I'm raising reasonably geeky children.

I put Star Wars* in the Netflix queue because I wanted to share it with my kids (and watch it again as I don't think I've seen in in at least 20 years). Star Wars was a transformative experience for me and--while I didn't expect it to be that to my kids--I thought they would think it was cool.

D1 watched about half the movie with me. The other two watched half the movie in the back of the van. I don't think any movie is really served by the DVD screen in the van, but Star Wars is probably a particularly poor choice for that medium. The youngest (D3) watched the rest on the TV in the house, D1 and D2 never finished.

I did get to explain a few things to the kids. First--I don't like to talk during movies. At all. Really. Especially if we are watching on a DVD and can pause.

Second--if you ask me "Why does <seemingly implausible thing> happen?", the answer is "It advances the narrative.". ("Why can C3PO and R2D2 walk through the path of an outrageous gunfight without getting hurt?" "It advances the narrative.")

Third--if you ask me "Why does <magical thing> only work some of the time?", the answer is, "It's a plot device". (This came up with Obi-Wan using the force.)

Even though they hadn't seen the movie, all three knew that Darth Vader is Luke's father**. I think they've seen bits and pieces of it via YouTube. D1 has seen Episodes 1-3. A movie like Star Wars definitely loses something if you know how it's going to end (or begin?).

In one of those weird coincidences, I came across a reference to "Han shot first" today.

(See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Han_shot_first)

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*the original, which I can't think of as Star Wars 4: A New Hope. I also don't believe that Episodes 1-3 were ever filmed.

**in our house, when someone has a cold and is breathing loudly, someone else will cover their mouth and wheeze, "Luke, I am your father" (which is not the exact quote, but everyone gets the idea....)

Parenting Lessons from Star Trek

William Shatner often delivered Captain Kirk's lines in a very deliberate/dramatic manner. For this, he's been criticized. But, I've found this style to be very effective when speaking to teenagers.

"Why....Did You Leave....The Milk...On The Counter?"

"Don't...You...Know...It WILL SPOIL!"

Even if it doesn't work on them--all the dramatic pausing helps me control myself (Vulcan parenting lessons post to come...)

I was a little disappointed with "The Big Bang Theory" this week. The plot felt like someone said, "Hey--let's take a really smart girl and make her horny/kinky" rather than an actual story.

I think this is an episode for which I'm not the target demographic.